Inspire…

I do! I am about to describe to you what is known as ‘Business Class Fakegrade’, not to be mistaken with Upgrade. This technique should not be disclosed to just anyone and be careful who you forward this post to or they might steal the idea.

Step 1) In the Airport

As normal, proceed with checking your bags and passing through security and walk casually to your gate for departure. When boarding ensues this is when you wait till 75% of passengers have boarded and then you make your move to board the plane. You must also have atleast two objects in your hand.
As your walking to find your seat, for every center row that has three empty seats, place an object of yours in one of the seats. Usually, I’ll throw my jacket over the seat for the first set I see, then my briefcase on the second set, and finally I occupy the third.

Step 2) Doubt

I know, I know, you’re probably thinking that “What if someone is sitting where you left your jacket or briefcase?” Well, that’s the genius of probability! If 25% of the passengers are left to board the plane, you currently occupy 3 rows of 3 seats, and the gate closes in less than 10 minutes, then your certainty of success is roughly 92%.

For example, Let’s say someone after you gets on the plane and notices your jacket on their seat. This is when you act oblivious to the situation and allow them to innocently remove your jacket and place it on the seat next to them. This is success #1.

Step 3) Success

Now, for every plan you must have redundancy for backup, and as you have probably already noticed, your briefcase has provided this. Success #2.

Then, another passenger enters the plane and occupies the row you are currently standing in, so you kindly walk to the row your briefcase is occupying.. and the airplane door closes. Success #3!
Now that your laying down in a row of three empty seats you can top it off with some ear plugs and a pillow for a First Class Fakegrade across the Atlantic.